The "Eyes" Have It (or a trip to the DMV)

Well, it has been awhile since I last posted. Life just seemed to pass by too quickly. Yesterday, though, I went to renew my driver's license - an ideal activity to post about.

In NC, you either make an appointment with the DMV 2 months in advance or take your chances to be one of the many in line for the walk up and "take a number" approach. I chose the latter, so I arrived at the DMV office one hour before it opened to be the first in line. It turns out that the line really does not get long until about 1/2 hour before opening.

It was very chilly, so my hands shook a bit as I read a book while waiting. Finally, the uniformed agent came over and opened the door for the orderly entrance of about 50 people. I think the downturn in the economy has hit the DMV as I remember there being many more people in the past. I got my number and just as I sat down, I was called back to the room with 9 license agents at the ready.

I sat down across from a very nice female agent (another change from the grumpy agents I have encountered in the past). She took my old, decrepit license and found my information in the vast labyrinth of government data on its constituents. Next she asked a rapid-fire series of questions ... any history of seizures, heart problems, mental illness, and so on. At first I was going to toy with her and say that my wife thinks I am insane, but I thought the better of it. Just don't want to tick off anyone that holds your fate in their hands.

With that behind me, next was my dreaded eye test. I have astigmatism, fairly strongly in my left eye and to a lesser extent in the right eye. However, I see pretty well. I can spot hawks in trees at a half mile and have no trouble recognizing constellations. The two eyes TOGETHER work pretty well. Anyway, I pressed my forehead against the little machine and it lit up the eye exam. This is a combination of letters and highway signage. The lady says "Read the first line please."

"D" .... "O" ... what is the next letter? My astigmatic eyes have a bit of an issue with letters having similar shape when they are small - B, E, R, P, S. I was having a lot of trouble with the next letter. I said "B" and went on to V ... "Stop sir, please reread the line." OK. First one really looked like a D. "D" ... "O" ... "E" ... "Stop sir, please reread the line. Maybe cup your hands around your eyes to block out any glare."

OK. So I cupped my hands and looked. I knew now it was the third letter. Geesh - B, E, R, P, S. Well at least I knew it wasn't B or E. Sometimes, if I close one eye, small letters can be better distinguished. So, I closed the left eye and, to my surprise, the entire first column of letters went away! Dang, so that was it. Sneaky ba....rds were checking the vision in the left eye with the first column. A quick check by closing only the right eye showed the far right of the four columns disappear. So, four columns of letters and only the center two were available to both eyes. OK. "S". Nothing from the lady. "V" and then on through the next 12 letters with no problems at all.

After that it was a snap. Identifying or reading off of about 12 highway signs, remembering to read even the smallest letters on them (No Parking ... (much smaller) on pavement during the hours of 7 to 4). Then there were the obligatory 4 signs where the words were removed. OK. "Stop" - easy. The next was just a round circle. I thought this was RR crossing, but I seemed to remember that sign having some ends of crossed rectangles poking out. I should have just said "railroad crossing" but I confessed some uncertainty. The lady says "Railroad crossing." Glad I could not see her face while my head was submerged in this machine. Then "School Crossing" and "Do Not Pass". That was it.

Within a minute, a paper pops out of a printer - no endorsements and no restrictions (no eye glasses required!). I am good until I am 60!

A quick picture and the nice lady told me - the paper license is good for 20 days, keep the old license for a photo ID (although it is not valid any more - if I get pulled over, the paper license rules) and your new license will arrive in the mail in 8 - to - 10 days.

That was it. In and out in 20 minutes. I even made it to work on time.